The Four Risks – Adultery
Tom Wood January 16 2012 - No Comment
No one wakes up in the morning and says, “Oh, what a beautiful day, I think I will go out and have an affair”. I can’t remember whose pen I read that from but it stuck. I can recite a long (too long) list of friends, colleagues, and fellow members of my clergy club (PCA) that woke up one morning though and did have an affair. And the thing is, today its not just physical, now its digital. The truth is still the same though, that decision didn’t “just happen”. Another truth is present: You are not immune to this. Neither am I. Steve has often said, “There is no sin of which I am not capable of committing” (or something very close to it).
We’ve been exploring Archibald Hart’s thoughts on the Four Risk factors of ministry life from an article he published, “Time To Get A Life”. The risk factors he had found peculiar to pastors involve Aloneness, Arrogance, Addiction and Adultery.
Hart notes, “After awhile, the pleasure center in the brain that controls all of this [ministry success or activity] can no longer be satisfied with ordinary achievements, so this risk develops: Adultery. You don’t see this spoken of so much in the secular world, because adultery is so commonplace and doesn’t mean anything. But in our Christian subculture, . . . pastors can no longer derive any pleasure from anything they are doing. The only thing left is the sexual impropriety. I’ve seen sexual impropriety in two categories of pastors: at one end, those who have struggled and failed a lot, who then turn to sexual immorality to make them feel better and, at the highly successful end of the spectrum, those for whom great success no longer brings pleasure. At both those ends, there is a risk of which pastors need to be aware, and take measures to protect themselves. And I’m not talking about pastors who are not living godly lives, who aren’t sincere in their spirituality!”
Sam was working on his second church-planting project. He was married with a family and the work was going fairly successfully. He told me his sad story one day over lunch. He started playing on the web (surfing sites)…then met someone in a chat room. The long and short of his saga was that he finally believed the lie being whispered in his ear… “ You are not a very good Christian or a good pastor; this isn’t real, God is withholding something better from you; your wife is not enough…blah, blah, lie, lie, blah”. One day, that one morning he did get up and say, today’s the day. He rented a U-Haul, packed his stuff, sat his wife and kids down and said, “I am leaving. I can’t do this anymore.” His wife was shocked, his kids devastated. He called the church leadership team as he pulled out of town. Tears filled my eyes as he related to me his story.
“The lips of an adulteress drip honey and her words are smooth; but in the end she is bitter as vinegar, sharp as a double bladed knife. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. At the window of my house I looked out and noticed a man who lacked judgment. He was surfing places on the web that were dangerous, getting close the edge, during the night when his wife was asleep. On came a flashing notice, or an email invitation from a woman dressed provocatively, with obvious intentions. She took hold of him and invited him in to look around and enjoy himself. She said, ‘Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! No one will ever know. No one will have to find out.’ With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk and pretty looks. At once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer in the sights of the hunter, till the arrow pierces his liver…little knowing it will cost him his life . . . Listen to me; pay attention. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her house is a highway to death!” (Tom’s loose paraphrase of Proverbs 6 & 7).
What is the answer? Most of the messages I heard on this subject are more or less rules based. Set up better accountability and “Don’t look at pictures of naked people” type exhortations. The Gospel of grace is better than that folks.
Thomas Chalmers wrote an article, The Expulsive Power of a Greater Affection”.
“It is thus that the boy ceases at length to be a slave of his appetite, but it is because a more mature taste has brought it into subordination. The youth ceases to idolize sensual pleasure, but it is because the idol of wealth has gotten the ascendancy. Even the love of money can cease to have mastery over the heart because it is drawn into the whirl of [ideology] and now he is lorded over by a love of power. But there is not one of these transformations in which the heart is left without an object. Its desire for one particular object is conquered—but its desire to have some object is unconquerable. The object of the gospel is both to pacify the sinner’s conscience and to purify the heart, and it is of importance to observe that what mars the one of these objects mars the other also. The best way of casting out an impure affection is to admit a pure one…the only way to dispossess the heart of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one… it is only when admitted into the number of god’s children through faith in Jesus Christ, that the spirit of adoption is poured out on us– it is then that the heart…is delivered from the tyranny of its former desires…” (Thomas Chalmers 1830).
If the gospel doesn’t take your breath away something else will.
Sam concluded our lunch with the rest of his story. “After several months I realized that I had been a miserable Christian but I was a worse pagan”. I called my wife and asked her if I could come home and begin the work of restoration. She said yes. Christ was the beauty his heart was really seeking and the joy his inner being wanted.
The Four Risks – Arrogance
Tom Wood November 21 2011 - 2 Comments
We are exploring Archibald Hart’s thoughts on the Four Risk factors of ministry life from an article he published, “Time To Get A Life”. The risk factors he had found peculiar to pastors involve Aloneness, Arrogance, Addiction and Adultery.
We all agree that being a pastor (or an assistant pastor, a youth pastor, a spiritual formation pastor, even a pastor to pastors) can be—doesn’t have to be but it can be—a place of aloneness. I hope that the emerging leaders, new younger pastors who have a proclivity toward community, will break free of the loneliness so many of their predecessors have known. Me included.
Hart observes in the spiral down what is birthed out of aloneness: “You develop a certain Arrogance. Who can teach me anything? You stop being accountable to anyone”. You start thinking, “I’m the one people turn to for answers. People come to see me with their most intimate problems and ask for guidance. When they are hurting, suffering, wandering, dying, struggling or hungry to learn, they come to me”. That is quite a gig. In your little corner of the world, you are the “Bible answer man”. You are the one who has “Mastered Divinity”.
I remember a story of the guy who went to the Doctor and told him his car was broken down. The doctor told him to go see a mechanic. He went to his mechanic and told him that he was having a problem with pain in his right arm and the mechanic told him to see a doctor. He went by his church and saw his pastor and said my car is broken down and my right arm hurts and the pastor said, “Come into my study and let’s talk about it”. It is hard to be a humble servant of the Lord when people see us as the one who is strong, smart, witty and wise.
I love Steve’s open, honest vulnerability in his recent vid! He is teaching at the Billy Graham Center and asked for our prayer because he said, “I’d like to say I don’t want to bring shame on the name of Christ and I want to be faithful to the truth…but most of it is I don’t want to make a fool of myself at the Billy Graham Training Center.” Oh if we could be that honest with ourselves and with others. There is a total lack of arrogance.
Hart says we arrogantly are no longer accountable to anyone. I confess I have not joined the ‘accountability group’ band wagon, where you get a group together and confess your failures and struggles (maybe it is my pride). Most groups don’t have any accountability to them. Accountability implies consequence and there is little consequence in those groups. Instead it descended into a group version of a catholic confessional. “Say three hail Mary’s, stop doing it, and try harder this week”.
I am accountable to my presbytery for my theology and my moral life. I’m accountable to those men because if I have moral failure or my theology gets twisted, they can do something about it and I have seen them use their “something” on others. I am accountable to my loving wife, Rachel. There is consequence to the relationship. And she is accountable to me too. I am accountable to my Board of Directors. I have accountability.
However, I think it is wise to have other relationships that help with our personal, spiritual and missional lives. In our forthcoming book, Gospel Coach, (Zondervan 2012—Steve Brown has written the forward), Scott Thomas (President of Acts 29 Network) wrote a section on five basic foundations for good accountability:
1. Focus on the Gospel and your responding to the grace of God. It is the love of Christ demonstrated through His death and resurrection that controls us (2 Cor. 5:14-15).
2. Find people of your same gender who have regular contact with you and can observe your life closely.
3. Find people who are not employed by you or under your direct authority. Sometimes silence on their part means not getting fired. It is acceptable to supplement your accountability with people under your supervision, but they cannot be the only ones who are holding you accountable.
4. Tell them you may lie to them on purpose occasionally to test whether they will press you for an accurate answer to their questions. Someone asked me how I would know if an accountability team was actually working for their benefit. I told him to lie to them and see if they press anyway. If a person can lie to their accountability team, it is of no value or protection to them. The point of this is not to cultivate a habit of lying, it’s to train your accountability partners to ask hard questions and to be relentless about their receiving an accurate answer, even if they question your honesty. Ultimately, you do this because you value honesty and are deeply aware of your own capacity for sinful deception.
5. Utilize questions that are not the same every week and find questions that examine sins in our head and our heart and not just in our hands.
Lastly, I want to suggest one sure fire way to deal with our arrogance. Gospel motivated Prayer. A pastor friend of mine who had been used by God to plant several churches, lead hundreds of people to Christ, preached thousands of wonderful sermons, led a pastoral care network and taught seminars around the country, crashed and burned in ministry. I never saw it coming. A total blindside. When asked, so how did you end up here, his reply was simple. “I stopped praying”.
A praying life keeps us humble and away from arrogance. Getting back to prayer, we recognize that we cannot do this. And we know we are heard because Jesus, in the Garden, prayed the prayer we struggle to pray—“Father, not my will but your will be done.” To help you with your prayer life, read Steve’s book, Approaching God and check out www.prayercurrent.com.
The Four Risks & The Gospel
Tom Wood September 26 2011 - 2 Comments
Dr. Archibald Hart, professor at Fuller Seminary, “is best known for his research on the hazards of ministry, depression, anxiety, divorce, stress, and sexuality”(from Fuller’s website). In an article, “Time To Get A Life”, written for pastors, he offered what he considered Risk factors for ministry life. Allow me to let his pen inform us of
“The Four Risks…”
1. You develop a certain Aloneness. You have no peer, so you become a loner.
2. You develop a certain Arrogance. “Who can teach me anything? I’m the one that’s been successful.” You stop being accountable to anyone.
3. The third step downwards is that you develop an Addiction to being successful. Your body adapts to that level, so you’ve got to up the ante, start new projects. You’ve become so addicted to the physical pleasure associated with new things that you have to keep starting new things and being successful in them. You’re now in a chase-your-tail kind of cycle.
4. After awhile, the pleasure center in the brain that controls all of this can no longer be satisfied with ordinary achievements, so this risk develops: Adultery. You don’t see this spoken of so much in the secular world, because adultery is so commonplace and doesn’t mean anything. But in our Christian subculture, highly successful pastors can no longer derive any pleasure from anything they are doing. The only thing left is the sexual impropriety.
Briefly, as you read those, I suspect some of you might have agreed with his risk factors, some thought of a friend who you know who is or has been down that road, or others of you dismissed it because you thought, “I would never do that”.
So let me ask—How alone do you feel in ministry? Really? The pastoral life is a lonely life. No matter how much you want to be close to your key leaders or staff or other local pastors, it is very risky to allow yourself to be really known and to really know others.
When I was a younger pastor planting a new church, I began attending a monthly pastor’s luncheon—the city’s “Clergy Association”. Ben was one of the pastors in the group. He had been in the city for about twenty years, had a stable church with about 300 members. I was new in the city with a newly launched church half his size. I asked Ben about his longevity. He said, “I gave up really caring about who came and who didn’t. Most people are only around for about 3-5 years and it became too painful to really care about getting involved in their lives.” He was a busy pastor and he was alone.
It is our part of our default to protect ourselves…not just in ministry life, but all of us who have been affected by the fall, whether pastors or not, to not want be known. People may say they want community and relationships, but not the kind that involves prying beneath the masks. It is risky. And being a pastor, well you open yourself up for “Mobbing” (read Vensel’s blog on mobbing). You know the score.
Does the Gospel of grace have anything to say to this? Yes, Courage flows from the Gospel embraced!
So, Remember the Gospel:
You are completely forgiven—you have nothing to hide.
You are perfectly righteous in Jesus—you have nothing to prove.
You are eternally loved—you have nothing to fear.
Rely on the Holy Spirit to lead you and to provide for you!
Next time, I want to explore the Arrogance…
Till then, may I remind you of my favorite SB quote? “Your sin is not a hindrance to the work of Christ in your life, it’s the reason He’s at work in your life”.
How Not to Take a Sabbatical
Tom Wood August 01 2011 - No Comment
According dictionary.com a Sabbatical is any extended period of leave from one’s customary work, especially for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc.
In the Older Testament the idea of taking time off for Sabbath resting every seven years is found in their agriculture (the fields were to have a land Sabbath every seven years in order to rejuvenate and regain its strength), debt was cancelled every seven years and also in the release of indentured slaves (they were to be released on the seventh year). It seems that the idea of those in ministry needing some type of Sabbatical every seven years might be a good thing!
I have never taken a Sabbatical. I “Mastered the Divine” in 1984, and with my denomination’s blessing went out and planted a church. After that season, I went to plant another church. Neither pastorate offered nor did I ask for an extended period of leave for rest or training. And besides, raising three young kids made taking an extended period of leave out of the question. So I have worked steady for last twenty-seven years. Eleven years ago, I took on a new role with an established church planting and seminary ministry. Within three years they closed their doors. There was never an opportunity for an extended period of leave with them!
It was at the Pooped Pastor’s conference that I first heard Dan Allender talk about becoming president of Mars Hill Grad School. He said he did not want to be the President, but no one else would do it. I remembered then I have always wanted to be President of something again (I was president of my senior class in high school, but since then, well churches do not have Presidents), so I began Church Multiplication Ministries and became President! One would think that being President I would be able to take a Sabbatical whenever I wanted. Wrong. Launching a new ministry, working to get clients, taking care of clients, and being responsible for payroll to the employees does not allow for much margin for extended leave.
However, since this is the seventh year of CMM, our Board of Directors approved a six-week sabbatical, beginning in mid June and ending July 31 (I love our Board and they will get extra credit in heaven for their service and for allowing me to take a Sabbatical). According to the “Sabbatical Coach”, sabbaticals are taken for one of four reasons:
1. Exploring Self and Purpose- re-evaluate life purpose and meaning.
2. Changing Track- knowing your current career is ending you look for way to pursue a new way of life.
3. Rejuvenation—because you see your work as a vocation and are driven, prone to overwork, and a sabbatical is a way to find rest and renewal.
4. Escape—an opportunity to experience autonomy, freedom and adventure away from work and regular responsibilities.
Perhaps you are so pooped that you are thinking about leaving the pastoral life. Perhaps you need to explore your calling again. Or maybe it’s to change tracks and move into another role. Steve told the entire gathering of ministers in his denomination, just after he left his last pastorate, “Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, I am not a pastor anymore!” But his role with Key Life has multiplied his wisdom, teaching and leadership! Your ‘poopedness’ may be the sign its time for an extended leave.
For me, I wasn’t looking for myself. I already know who I am. I know my strengths as well as my weaknesses—and my calling and my position in Christ. The Gospel of Grace is continually working itself in me daily. I wasn’t thinking at all about changing tracks.
William Gladstone said, “He is a wise man who wastes no energy on pursuits for which he is not fitted; and he is wiser still who, from among the things he can do well, chooses and resolutely follows the best.”
CMM is doing incredible stuff for empowering leaders to multiply gospel-saturated churches and church planting networks. In fact, we are encouraging leaders to not simply start a church…but to start a church-planting network!
I didn’t want to escape (Ok, maybe a little). Rejuvenation was my aim. I am a workaholic. That is not a virtue it’s a sin! It is non-gospel living. It is believing the lie of the serpent that I cannot trust the good will of God and I must take matters into my own hands (to quote Luther). I knew I needed to find rest and renewal in the Gospel.
Here are some suggestions for how not to take a Sabbatical designed for Rest and Renewal. No matter how much you love your family, do not plan a multi-family vacation in one house with siblings, nieces, nephews, kids, grandkids, in-laws, and planned time with their grandparents. There is no rest and rejuvenation to be found.
I would also suggest that you do not spend four days finishing a writing project with a due date. If you are smart, you will not sneak in a three-day assessment of church planting candidates. Even though I love church planters, and love being with men and women who want to become missionaries to our nation, it does not lend itself to the margin needed. You would probably already surmise that preaching for friends who are on vacation also is not really taking “leave from one’s customary work, especially for rest”. That should be a no brainer! And one other thing: do not promise your wife you will not answer email or texts (or maybe you should promise her) but don’t’ take your computer or iPhone with you!
I hope that if you are in or past your seventh year of ministry life and haven’t taken an extended leave, that you will look for the opportunity to take some form of Sabbatical that you will approach your adjudicatory and ask. Be smarter than me! Believe the Gospel and take a real Sabbatical! Jesus is the True Sabbath rest for your life. If you have taken a Sabbatical, I’d love for you to share with others your successes and advice!
Being Dangerous!
Tom Wood June 06 2011 - No Comment
What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?
I suspect it was very illegal and even your mother doesn’t know.
Who do you think of when you think of a dangerous person?
Besides Steve Brown or Dan Allender.
Who do you think was the most dangerous person who has ever lived?
Why do we equate danger with evil?
I would like to suggest that what is championed today in most churches is a neutered Christianity. Many pastors, church leaders and members are encouraged to be very nice to others, to our neighbors, and to our critics. Our missional endeavors are outreaches to ‘bless the city’, not to cause a stir. Wouldn’t you agree?
In Acts 19, the church planting pastor Paul went to Ephesus, in what is present day Turkey. (I hope to get there one day). It was a commercial center of the day, filled with trade, bars, businesses, and one of the largest theaters in world. They boasted a large library as well as hosting a regional bank. Ephesus was the marketplace for all of Asia…a world renowned city and melting pot of many cultures. It was a cosmopolitan city, filled with artists, musicians, poets, and actors. People came to Ephesus to use the city for business, to get rich, for sex, to buy and sell slaves and make a life for themselves. It was capital of the world’s slave trade until 100 AD.
But it was most famous for the large Temple to Artemis—“One of the Seven Wonders of the World”—Artemis was a fertility goddess and prostitutes worked out of that temple—it was an economic engine; think of the tourists, the food, lodging, and souvenirs (Artemis carvings & statues)…all the visiting worshipers spent loads of cash in the city.
In addition to the Temple, sorcery was very much a part of the life in Ephesus. The practice of black arts and magicians who were famous for writing Ephesians’ letters—where they cast spells and charms for everything (offering safety, barrenness, business success, love potions).
Ephesus also had its orthodox, traditional religious people, with a small Jewish synagogue. It seemed to pose no danger to the Temple of Artemis or the way of life in such a world class city.
But the Gospel was slowly being shared by Paul and his companions. He wasn’t holding large evangelistic campaigns, but he was teaching the gospel to people. And people’s lives were being radically changed by the Gospel. In fact an outpouring of God’s work was so dramatic, that a significant number of people turned away from the black arts, and the worship of Artemis to Jesus Christ.
And a business owner felt it. The guy made little statues, for the souvenir shops around the Temple. He was a businessman making a good life. and obviously what Paul was doing made a dent in his bottom line.
So he gathered the other business owners and sex traffickers together and said:
“Men, you know we receive a good income from this business. And you see and hear how this fellow Paul has convinced and led astray large numbers of people here in Ephesus and in practically the whole province of Asia. He says that man-made gods are no gods at all. There is a Danger not only to our trade…but also that the temple of the great goddess Artemis will be discredited and the goddess herself will be robbed of her divine majesty.”
As Luke the historian unfolds the continued work of Jesus in the world, wherever the work of the Gospel goes, it is opposed. Wherever you see Kingdom advancement, Evil counterattacks. Whether its through persecution, racism, criticism, violent threats, attacks, money/corruption, or false teaching… Paul said he lived in danger!
But here, the businessman Demetrius, says this is dangerous! This man Demetrius hit it. The Gospel intends to transform societies. To release the enslaved. To heal the wounded. To dethrone idols. To show the Glory of God as the greatest thing in the universe.
Here is the call—it’s a call to Dangerous Christianity. The Gospel is dangerous! Indeed, our freedom is scandalous, as it confronts and transforms lives—making us a danger!
Will you go there?
Missionary Jim Elliot, who was killed by the very people he had gone to tell the Gospel story wrote in his journal, “Father make me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to a decision. Let me not be a mile post on a single road. Make me a fork, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.”
So what was the most dangerous thing you have done?
I’ve known all kinds of men and women who were leaders, emerging leaders, key leaders, who put their lives into the shredder. Wasted it. The acted dangerously stupid. Some were pooped because they no longer had a fight in them. Some were angry. Some were exhausted and looked for a weird way to find comfort.
Sometimes it was a moment mistake, but all leadership leverage was gone. Sometimes they just jumped into it and shredded their lives…lost all influence with their spouse, kids, people in marketplace, friends, employees…gone. They were a danger, but the wrong kind of danger. However, there is a gospel Danger and I invite you to find it.
Fear and the Fight of Faith
Tom Wood April 12 2011 - 1 Comment
In the movie Braveheart, there is a terrific scene where the Scottish army, under William Wallace, is soundly defeated at Falkirk because of the treachery of one of the main Scottish Lords, Robert the Bruce. His father had worked out an arrangement with the King of England, Edward Longshanks.
The “Bruce” is horrified at what he has done, and goes to see his father who is in hiding because of his leprosy.
His father said, “It’s what had to be done, to protect the future of the family, increase your lands, and in time, you will have all the power in Scotland.”
Robert the Bruce replies, “Lands, men, titles, power, nothing.” “Nothing?” his father incredulously responds. “Yes, I have nothing,” Robert shouts back. “Men fight for me because if they don’t I throw them off my lands, starve their wives and their children.”
Why do I keep on keeping on with Jesus?
Jesus told a story about a nobleman who went to be crowned king. As he was leaving he gave 10 of his servants 3 months wages and told them to put the money to work. One of the men gave the full wages back when it was payment time. He said, “I kept it hidden because I was afraid of you—you are a hard man. You take what you didn’t give and you reap what you didn’t sow.” Wow. That’s really honest isn’t it?
Do I serve God out of fear that he will “throw me off his land, and starve my wife and children.” I totally have enough faith to believe that God can take it all away. Every bit of it. “I knew you were a hard man…you take…”
But that is not very Gospel is it? Of course God loves me. He sent Jesus… “He who spared not His own Son, will He not also give us all things?”
So it really is the fight of Faith isn’t it? The Fight to believe in God’s promise and God’s love. To live as an adopted son, not a servant who fears his Master will take it all away, throw me off his lands and starve me out. I am at the heart of it, a Pharisee, and I hate that.
Why do you serve God in a job you are tired of doing? Why continue to follow God’s ways when you are so unjustly treated, when people are saying all sorts of things about you? Can the security of God’s love really be enough? Is the gospel penetrating deeper into your awareness as a son or daughter? He really isn’t mad at me anymore! He really is for me!
The scene in Braveheart ends with these lines…Robert the Bruce adds, “Those men who bled the ground red at Falkirk, they fought for Wallace and he fights for something that I‘ve never had. And I took it from it from him when I betrayed him; and I saw it on his face on the battlefield.”
His father says, “All men betray. All men lose heart.” The Bruce, shouts at him, “I don’t want to lose heart. I want to believe, as he does.” Me too. I want to believe in the Jesus who was totally betrayed for my sake—who gave it all up, so I could be rich in God!
God’s Supra-Plan
Tom Wood February 01 2011 - 1 Comment
All down through the history of mankind there has been an ongoing struggle of two dominant systems of thought that was best dramatized in the movie Forrest Gump. One character was Forrest’s “Momma”. She believed, that “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”. You make your own destiny by your own choices. In other words, Life is random. Make the best of what you get. The other main character in Forrest’s life was Lt. Dan Taylor.
In a battle in Vietnam, Lt. Dan has his legs blown off, but Forrest rescued him. They both are in the hospital recovering and Lt. Dan grabs Forrest and says, “We all have a destiny, nothing just happens. It’s all part of a plan. I should have died out there with my men. Now I’m nothing but a cripple… you cheated me Gump. I had a destiny. I was supposed to die in the field with honor. You cheated me out of it. That was my destiny”. In other words, life is fixed.
So which is it? Is your life fixed in such a way that what is going to happen is going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it? Am I stuck in this miserable job? Miserable pastorate? Was it fate that had me get fired? Fate that my daughter was born with her disability? If it wasn’t, where was God in that?
Or does God simply allow stuff to happen in your life, but He is there to give you peace or comfort as you endure it? All is just random stuff–like my daughter’s genes randomly collided and ended up missing a piece.
Gump tries his answer. Standing at the grave of the love of his life, Jenny, he said, “I don’t know if Momma was right or if it’s Lt. Dan. I don’t know if we each have a destiny or if we’re all just floating around accidental like on a breeze. But I think, maybe it’s both. Maybe both are happening at the same time.”
At the risk of oversimplifying an age old problem of philosophy, let me suggest, God’s plan is a Supra-plan. He has the details of your life.
On one hand, though we have real freedom to make real choices, there is not randomness in your life. You are not floating around like a feather–“accidental like”.
On the other hand, there is not some fatalistic plan occurring either.
Do you know what the answer is? It’s God with us…God Himself has come and intersected with our lives, out of His great love for Us. The Eternal God, entered time and space, and became one of us. Jesus is the plan. And in the purpose of His coming, He was and is the Ultimate Innocent Sufferer of this broken, seemingly random world. The One who did not cling to selfishness rights, but emptied Himself is the One who is the fulfillment of the Plan—the plan is a Person, not fate.
God’s love for you is greater, deeper and more complete than you ever dared to believe. His unconditioned love is the only constant in our changing world. He demonstrated His love, not in words alone, but when He came. And gave Himself for you. His life for yours. This is one part of Christian life that is the heart, root of it all. The fight of Faith: To believe God loves me. To doubt my doubts and believe the Gospel is True.
Coaching 102 – Getting Coached
Tom Wood December 22 2010 - No Comment
One time a pastor called and said, “My leadership voted last night to keep me on, but the vote of confidence wasn’t unanimous. I don’t know what I should do now.” One phone call later, I heard this: “Our church is under some kind of attack right now. Every time we seem to make a gain, something happens to set us back two steps.” Both are coaching situations for me.
I believe coaching is essential to your ongoing health in ministry. Some view coaching as a technique driven approach. Here’s how I view it: “Ministry Leader Coaching is a process of imparting encouragement and skills to the leader in order to succeed in their ministry role, in the context of a gospel friendship.”
Coaches are leaders because they are expending influence on another’s life and ministry. Christ is the Head of the Church, universal and in particular, the Head of the church that the ministry leader is serving. Thus the coach must see him/herself as a leader-coach, representing Christ as the Leader. Our Savior accomplishes his purposes through the three offices in which he ministers: Prophet, King, and Priest. Jesus ministers the gospel to us as Prophet, King, and Priest.
Coaches are called to lead and model ministry to others as representatives of Christ, serving them as prophet, king and priest. We are called to be all three, all at once.
But Christ is also our Friend. We must approach all our coaching in the context of friend, not in a place of superiority or expert. With the theologically rich paradigm of prophet, king and priest, coaching is seen as a conversation in a friendship.
I believe coaching is a conversation, which means it is far more than simply asking good questions. Conversations involve people in give and take, questions and answers, advice and direction. It means the pastor/coach will listen, observe, respond, interact, offer insights, support, encourage, and sometimes give directions. Since it is a conversation, it means the ministry leader listens, observes, responds, interacts, offers insights, support, and encouragement and sometimes gives direction
Are you receiving coaching in your ministry? Perhaps you are pooped because you are facing a myriad of issues and have no one with whom you can talk them through. You are the pastor and you are expected to have the answer aren’t you? You have Mastered the Divine right? After all, that is what you are paid to do to. Or maybe you have the false idol yourself. Either way, you might find a coach to be of great help.
My friend is still the pastor of the church. My other friend continues to get three steps forward and a few back, but they are both still in the game!
Ministry Coaching 101 — Getting Past Pooped
Tom Wood September 16 2010 - 3 Comments
Part of the ministry role I have now in my life is coaching ministry leaders. Way back, when I was praying through my calling before going to college, I had considered being a high school coach. I ended up a pastor—a church planter and pastor. Now I am coaching pastors and church planting pastors. Its part of my story.
Gary Collins wrote, “Coaching is the key element in producing good leaders. To be a good leader you must be a good coach. And to be a good coach you must recognize that coaching is a significant form of leadership” – Christian Coaching.
If you think back on your life, I suspect that there was a coach who had an influence on your life—good or bad. For some, it might be a football coach. Others it had to do with the arts or science or scouts. Maybe it was a neighborhood dad who took a real interest in you and some others around. Coaching had a major impact on you.
When you consider your church ministry, let me ask you a question: Who is often the most under-resourced person in the church? Who gets the least amount of support and attention? (Besides you I would add).
Some chief complaints of leaders in the church are they feel uncared for, under-resourced and under appreciated—they are pooped. So often we get someone to volunteer for a leadership role—elder, deacon, small group leader, Sunday school teacher, or music—maybe give them a one day training event and then turn them loose. We delegate to them the responsibility to make it work. And they get pooped.
Here is a Principle: There are organizational systems that free leaders to lead and some that are ministry “stallers” and “stoppers”.
In church planting, studies show that a church planter who meets regularly with a coach will start a church that is two times the size of one where the planter isn’t coached. And if the planter meets regularly with a group of peers, it increases the survivability of the new church 135%. Pretty amazing influence of what coaching can do for a leader.
Coaching is essential to the ongoing health and survivability of your leaders in your church—to cut down on the pooped-out leaders. But not just any kind of coaching methodology will work. Gospel Centered, grace-saturated coaching is the kind your people need…and maybe you need as well. More on that later!
Stout Monk Society – Pt 4
Tom Wood July 20 2010 - 2 Comments
It’s been awhile since my last blog, so to remind you, I’ve been talking about the Stout Monk Society. A few have said they have started one or are going to try and get into one. I’m hoping that they will. I think it is imperative for not just surviving, but thriving in ministry life. I thought I would tell you some of what happened in our SMS this May.
My Stout Monk Society was so good. We all connected in a house in Canada. Here are some notes I jotted to myself from our four days. We each took turns leading our brothers in a brief ‘word’. One ‘word’ was from 2 Cor. 1:8,9, on the hardships we suffer….
“This happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God, who raises the dead”.
We were asked to recognize our sufferings. What are the hardships in my life? Confess where I am relying on myself/my own strategies—what does self-reliance look like to me? Next, to rejoice in Jesus, our resurrected Hope! (more…)
