I don’t believe God loves me!

Lea Clower March 01 2011 - 3 Comments

There, I’ve said it out loud…well, obviously, I’ve also said it to all of you, too. From John 3:16 to “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life”, and all the scripture the Navigators told me to memorize, the root issue for me is that what my mind knows is a long way from what my heart believes.

Intellectual truth does not fill an empty heart. Oh, I know He loves you, and my heart embraces His grace in your life, and I weep for your pain, and pray that you will accept His acceptance, and feel His arms around you, and know the tender touch of “nail scared” hands. But as for me, well, my stuff, my pain, my ministry, my sin…it all is so much deeper, louder, stronger, and more real than the truth. The flesh is so much stronger than the spirit, the battles in the war have so few victories. Living, knowing in my head that in the end, we win…well, it just hasn’t been enough to relieve the exhaustion of my efforts to be a “godly man” and therefore believe that He really loves me. I know it’s “spiritual pride” to think “I’m too ugly for Him to love me”, but even that knowledge doesn’t fill the void.

On another “dark night (day, life) of the soul” I was reading again with gratitude that Paul couldn’t get it right either.

Romans 7:15-20 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

“It is no longer I who do it…” wait a minute, is my new nature, new creation in Christ really that “distant” from my behavior? “…but it is sin living in me that does it.” Does that remove responsibility…no, but it does lead to the reality of Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,…” The voices in my head, the accuser and his condemnations are nothing but lies. That’s great, but again, what my head knows and what my heart believes are so far apart.

So then I head to I Corinthians 13 to see if love can help me with my pain. We all read it at weddings and tell Christians to love each other this way. Because we are proud of our Greek knowledge we get to explain that this is “agape” and only God can love like this, and will through us. But you know what, I still see it as something I have to do. And not necessarily something that applies to how God feels about me.

Then one especially dark morning God led me to see this “agape” as not only the exegetical truth about God’s love, but a description of God’s love for me.

So lets try this starting with I Corinthians 13: 4-8a:

4“[God’s] love [for Lea] is patient, [God’s] love [for Lea] is kind. [God’s love for ________start putting your name here] does not envy, [God’s love for ________ ] does not boast, [God’s love for _______ ] is not proud. 5[God’s love for _______ ] is not rude, [God’s love for me] is not self-seeking, [God’s love for me] is not easily angered, [God’s love for me] keeps no record of wrongs. 6[God’s love for me] does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7[God’s love for me] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8a[God’s love for me] never fails.”

As we know repetition and application are two of the most powerful elements of teaching. So almost every morning, I read the “paraphrase” to my heart. When my mind gets in the way, when the voices shout “it’s not true for you”, I tell them to shut-up and leave me alone. I tell them to “be quiet because God is speaking to me…his son, in whom He is well pleased.”

Hope this helps some of you; it’s making a difference in my life, maybe it will in yours.

Love and pray for all you, whose names I don’t know, but who names and hearts God knows and better yet, who God loves.

5 Obstacles to Fitness Success

Steve McKinney February 23 2011 - No Comment

You want to be fit. You know how much you should weigh. You know your ideal pant size. You can even picture how great those skinny jeans will look.

So why aren’t you living life in your ideal body?

There are many complex reasons that make weight loss a challenge, reasons that go deeper than simply calories-in versus calories-out.

I’m talking about the life issues that get in the way of your success.

Read the following 5 obstacles and the solutions to unlock your best body ever.

1. You don’t want to be bothered.

It’s in your DNA to avoid pain and seek out pleasure. Unfortunately this works against you when trying to get fit. In your mind, it’s painful (or at least uncomfortable) to deny yourself the tasty food that you crave and to exert yourself with exercise.

There’s a simple way to work around this obstacle: Find something painful about being fat to motivate yourself towards healthy eating and exercise. Focus on the negative impact your current weight has on your health, self-esteem and lifestyle. Convince yourself that the pain of being out of shape is much greater than the discomfort of losing weight.

2. You don’t want to wait for the good stuff.

Just as you wish to avoid pain, you are also an expert in seeking out pleasure – namely food. This served the cavemen well, but these days it ends up as extra pounds around your waist and thighs.

There’s good news: extra calories are not your only option to stimulate the pleasure center of your brain. Find an activity or two that make you smile and indulge in those regularly.

• A walk outside
• A good book
• A night out to the movies or theater
• A spa day

You can also retrain your brain to crave the pleasure of exercise-induced endorphins. Talk about weight gain kryptonite!

3. You are crazy busy.

Let’s face it, you work too much, commit yourself to too much and don’t even get enough sleep most of the time. The fast-paced way you live leaves you exhausted, stressed and hungry for comfort food. You even begin to feel too busy to take care of your health.

It’s time to re-prioritize. Let go of your perfectionist standards and remove a few commitments from your schedule so that you are able to cook healthy meals, exercise and get a good night’s sleep. Remind yourself that taking care of your health is not a luxury – it’s a necessity.

4. You don’t deserve it.

I don’t agree with it, but you sure act like you don’t deserve to live the good life in the body of your dreams. Take a moment to think back on all the times you have self-sabotaged your weight loss efforts. If you don’t believe deep down that you are worthy then you’ll never give yourself a chance at a fit body.

I believe that you deserve to have a healthy body – and I urge you to dig deep down to uncover why you don’t. Once you conquer your feelings of unworthiness, getting on an exercise and healthy eating plan will be easy.

Take the time to take care of yourself. You DO deserve it.

5. You are afraid.

You’re afraid to start because you just might fail, and wouldn’t that be embarrassing? You’re also afraid to start because you just might succeed, and change makes you uncomfortable – even if it’s change in the right direction.

When you decide to get fit you will need to go through a bushel of changes:

• New diet
• New exercise routine
• New friends at the gym
• New clothes
• New self-image

Focus on all of the ways that losing weight will make your life better. Envision that better life everyday so that it goes from being new and scary to familiar and comfortable.

I want to personally help overcome every obstacle standing between you and your ideal body. As always, you are welcome to email me with questions or to get started on a program that will change your life and body forever…in a good way

Recipe of the Week

Healthy Chocolate Shake

What is better than a creamy chocolate shake? A creamy chocolate shake without the guilt! You won’t miss the fat and refined sugar as you slurp up this tasty treat.
Servings: 2

Here’s what you need:

• 2 bananas, frozen
• 1/2 cup nonfat milk
• 2 scoops chocolate whey protein
• 2 Tablespoons raw almond butter
• dash of ground cinnamon
• 2 cups ice

Throw everything into a high speed blender, blend until smooth and creamy.

Nutritional Analysis: One serving equals: 292 calories, 7g fat, 33g carbohydrate, 7g fiber, and 25g protein.

Fitness Tip of the Week

Your friend, Regret

Have you ever felt regret the day after you passed on dessert? Of course not! You gave yourself a high-five for dodging the calorie bullet.

When temptation presents itself in the form of fattening foods or sugary desserts, decide how you want to feel the next day. Would you rather be guilt-ridden and bloated OR guilt-free and svelte?

The choice is yours.

Posted in Read, Steve McKinney by: Steve McKinney •

Filthy Rags

Zach Van Dyke February 14 2011 - 1 Comment

Did anyone else go into ministry thinking it would save them?

Did anyone else go into ministry believing they would get better…that they would desire sin less…they would look more like Jesus?

I did.

Of course, I didn’t give those reasons in my interview. My reason for pursuing a professional ministry was to do God’s will and to serve God’s people. And I really did want to do those things…but in doing in those things I better get better!

A few months ago I decided I didn’t believe this stuff anymore. None of it. The Bible is a sham. Jesus never came. God did not exist. He couldn’t because if He did exist…I was screwed.

I was just sitting in my office thinking about my life and hit me…I’m not even close to being as good as I thought I would be after four years of ministry. My life doesn’t look the way a pastor’s life should look. In fact, by honestly looking at myself that morning, I saw areas of my life that looked worse than before!

So either God was angry with me (or worse, apathetic towards me) or He didn’t exist.

Those were my only choices and in that moment, for the first time in my life, I chose unbelief. Complete and total unbelief. I’m not talking about some sophomoric doubt here. HE DOES NOT EXIST!

And you know what happened…

I had the most amazing day of rest I have ever experienced!

I left work. It was a beautiful day outside. I found a spot I didn’t think anyone would find me and I lay on a blanket enjoying the Florida sun for three hours. No prayers. No talking to God. No feeling guilty.

I didn’t worry about getting better because there was no one to get better for!

I wasn’t depressed about how I was or more importantly, who I wasn’t!

I could just be me!

I kept wondering why it had taken me thirty years to realize I was trying to please someone who either couldn’t be pleased or who didn’t even exist in the first place?!

Then I read Zechariah 3.

Then I saw Joshua, the High Priest, standing before the angel of the Lord (Jesus) and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him.

The Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?”

Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel.

Wait a second…Joshua showed up in front of Jesus a mess?

He was the High Priest. God had prescribed in great detail to Joshua what needed to be done to stand before Him…all priests knew…and Joshua showed up in filthy clothes? What an idiot?!

Or maybe Joshua understood something that I didn’t. Maybe Joshua believed something that I didn’t.

And then I realized who it was that was angry with me.

The accusations I have heard my whole life were real and were from someone who did actually exist…but I’ve spent most of my life incorrectly identifying to whom that voice belonged.

So then I started thinking…What if we as pastors stood before our congregations in filthy rags?

I guess they would hear Jesus rebuke Satan.

And then we would hear Him say…

“Take off his filthy clothes…See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put rich garments on you.”

So glad it’s all about grace.

Zach

P.S. I believe!

“My Top Ten Mistakes In Ministry (That I Can Share Publicly)” #9

Steve Childers February 09 2011 - No Comment

This is the ninth in a series of blog posts called, “My Top Ten Mistakes in Ministry (That I Can Share Publicly.)” After many years of ministry experience as a church planter, pastor and seminary professor, I think I’ve finally learned that one of the best kept secrets to surviving well in the ministry is to stop making the same old mistakes that others (like me) have been making for decades. Instead, let’s all start making some brand new, bold, innovative and creative mistakes!

We began this series with an introduction called, “Ladies First” in which veteran church planter wife, Shari Thomas, addressed the tough topic, What I Wish I Had Known About Church Planting from the perspective of the church planter’s/pastor’s spouse. We then took a look at:

• Mistake #1: (these are in no intentional order)Failing to Understand the Importance of How I Define Ministry Success.
• Mistake #2: Managing My Time and Not Managing My Life
• Mistake #3: Not Understanding the Difference Between my Goals and Desires.
• Mistake #4: Not Understanding the Difference Between Pursuing the Grace of God and the God of Grace.
• Mistake #5: Not Understanding the Way Up is the Way Down
• Mistake #6: Not Understanding the Priority of People Over Programs
• Mistake #7: Not Understanding Product Living VS Process Living

• Mistake #8: Not Initiating Supportive Relationships

Mistake #9: Not Understanding that the Good News is for the Lost & Found

I am a recovering Pharisee. I love the praise of man more than the praise of God. I naturally substitute a knowledge about God or a knowledge about godliness for truly knowing God. Over the years I have developed several intricate strategies and spiritual disciplines to cover up the lack of spiritual reality in my heart. I can defend the truths of the Gospel, but I often fail to experience its transforming power in my life.

The depth of my Pharisaism was exposed several years ago while I co-taught a Doctor of Ministry class at RTS/Orlando. During one session, my colleague (the late C. Jack Miller) realized how many of the pastors and Christian leaders in our class seemed discouraged and spiritually defeated. I, too, was struggling –just doing a great job of disguising it in front of the class. Observing the pain all around him, he took me aside and suggested I divide the class into groups of three and lead them in sharing the Gospel with each other. I was stunned. “Why?” I wondered. Did he think some of these people weren’t really Christians? I could see stopping the class to share needs and pray but not to evangelize each other.

As he explained, however, I realized how faulty my reasoning had been. I had assumed that the Gospel was for non-Christians alone and had little or no relevance to the Christian life once someone was converted. I began learning that day that the Gospel is not just a gate I must pass through one time, but a path I should walk each day of my life.

It’s a painfully common story. We begin the Christian life well but gradually find ourselves increasingly experiencing little or no true spiritual transformation. Although we still believe sound doctrine and practice spiritual disciplines, our hearts seem unchanged. Our relationship with God has grown cold and distant. We know something is wrong but we’re not sure what it is. No real joy abounds in our lives; we no longer truly sense God’s presence or power. Ultimately, we know we are forgiven, but in the midst of our daily lives we have no authentic power over temptation. What is the answer?

The good news for Christians is that a divine remedy for our cold and hardened hearts is available! And that remedy is found in the transforming power of the Gospel, the goal of which is not just our regeneration but also our transformation into the image of Christ. Its purpose is not merely to forgive us, but to change us into true worshippers of God and authentic lovers of people. However, we often reduce the Gospel to “God’s plan of salvation” for lost people to be saved from sin’s penalty, not realizing that it is also “God’s plan of salvation” for Christians to be saved from sin’s power. The same Gospel message that saves sinners also sanctifies the saints.

The Bible teaches that our salvation encompasses all three tenses: Past–We have been saved from sin’s penalty (Eph. 2:8); Present–We are being saved from sin’s domineering power (Phil. 2:12); and Future–We will be saved (in Heaven) from sin’s presence. (Rom. 13:11).

The Apostle Paul made clear that repentance and faith were meant to be ongoing in the life of the believer when he wrote,”…just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, so walk in Him”(Col. 2:6). Coming to Jesus Christ in repentance and faith is meant by God to be more than a mere one time event by which we are saved from sin’s penalty. Repentance and faith in Christ is also the God-ordained process by which we are to be continually coming back to Jesus Christ daily, moment by moment, to be saved from sin’s domineering power and have our hearts transformed.

When you were united to Christ through faith, you were given a very rich and remarkable spiritual inheritance in Him. But like a child born into a royal family, it takes time for you to realize the full extent of the riches of your birthright. Each doctrine related to the Gospel helps us understand the many facets of what we now have in Christ. The Good News is that even though you may have glaring inconsistencies in your walk with God, if you are in Christ, you can still claim by faith the wonderful truths of God’s radical love for you in Christ.

In the Gospel we see the multi-colored splendor of our new life in Jesus Christ and find the divine remedy for the heart that has been wounded by conviction of sin. In the Gospel we find the streams of living water that well up in the heart of a believer who keeps coming to Christ in faith (Jn. 7:37,38). As we learn to drink deeply from the well that is Christ we will experience the transformation of our hearts and find the living waters of the Holy Spirit flowing through us into other lives. This well never runs dry. Here are the springs of personal, corporate and national revival!

All God asks is that we continue to draw near to Him in repentance and faith through the cross of Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul wrote, “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ…”(Gal. 6:14) It has been said that grace, like water, always flows to the lowest place–the foot of the cross. It is here that we humble ourselves, cast away all our pride and self-sufficiency and admit what we really are to God. It is here that we find the supernatural power, courage, and strength to be more like Jesus Christ.

Steve Childers is the President & CEO of Global Church Advancement, an inter-denominational ministry that provides church planting training, consultations, and resources for church planters, pastors and missionaries throughout the world. Steve has trained Christian leaders from more than 50 countries (curriculum in five major global languages), representing over 200 denominations and mission agencies in 5 continents (& 5 languages). Steve is also an author, Professor of Practical Theology (since 1995) and the Director of the Doctoral program at Reformed Theological Seminary, in Orlando, Florida, where he teaches church planting, missions, evangelism and spiritual formation. To learn more about GCA:

Browse the GCA Website: http://www.gca.cc

Join the GCA Cause: http://bit.ly/X5bZC

See the GCA Blog: http://www.gca.cc/blog/

Follow GCA on Twitter: http://twitter.com/_gca

Follow Steve on Twitter: http://twitter.com/stevechilders

Check out upcoming GCA Events: http://gca.cc/Seminar_Overview.htm

Support GCA: http://gca.cc/Support_GCA.htm

God’s Supra-Plan

Tom Wood February 01 2011 - 1 Comment

All down through the history of mankind there has been an ongoing struggle of two dominant systems of thought that was best dramatized in the movie Forrest Gump. One character was Forrest’s “Momma”. She believed, that “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”. You make your own destiny by your own choices. In other words, Life is random. Make the best of what you get. The other main character in Forrest’s life was Lt. Dan Taylor.

In a battle in Vietnam, Lt. Dan has his legs blown off, but Forrest rescued him. They both are in the hospital recovering and Lt. Dan grabs Forrest and says, “We all have a destiny, nothing just happens. It’s all part of a plan. I should have died out there with my men. Now I’m nothing but a cripple… you cheated me Gump. I had a destiny. I was supposed to die in the field with honor. You cheated me out of it. That was my destiny”. In other words, life is fixed.

So which is it? Is your life fixed in such a way that what is going to happen is going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it? Am I stuck in this miserable job? Miserable pastorate? Was it fate that had me get fired? Fate that my daughter was born with her disability? If it wasn’t, where was God in that?

Or does God simply allow stuff to happen in your life, but He is there to give you peace or comfort as you endure it? All is just random stuff–like my daughter’s genes randomly collided and ended up missing a piece.

Gump tries his answer. Standing at the grave of the love of his life, Jenny, he said, “I don’t know if Momma was right or if it’s Lt. Dan. I don’t know if we each have a destiny or if we’re all just floating around accidental like on a breeze. But I think, maybe it’s both. Maybe both are happening at the same time.”

At the risk of oversimplifying an age old problem of philosophy, let me suggest, God’s plan is a Supra-plan. He has the details of your life.
On one hand, though we have real freedom to make real choices, there is not randomness in your life. You are not floating around like a feather–“accidental like”.
On the other hand, there is not some fatalistic plan occurring either.

Do you know what the answer is? It’s God with us…God Himself has come and intersected with our lives, out of His great love for Us. The Eternal God, entered time and space, and became one of us. Jesus is the plan. And in the purpose of His coming, He was and is the Ultimate Innocent Sufferer of this broken, seemingly random world. The One who did not cling to selfishness rights, but emptied Himself is the One who is the fulfillment of the Plan—the plan is a Person, not fate.

God’s love for you is greater, deeper and more complete than you ever dared to believe. His unconditioned love is the only constant in our changing world. He demonstrated His love, not in words alone, but when He came. And gave Himself for you. His life for yours. This is one part of Christian life that is the heart, root of it all. The fight of Faith: To believe God loves me. To doubt my doubts and believe the Gospel is True.

Called to the Ministry for Me not Them

Lea Clower January 25 2011 - No Comment

Who learns more, the teacher or the student? The teacher does. Who gets more strength, pain, and experience, the players on the field or the spectators in the stands? The players do. Who experiences the “thrill of victory and the agony of defeat” more than any others do? It’s those who are in the battle. Who grows more, the struggler or the straggler? The struggler. How do we ever learn that Jesus is enough? When Jesus is all we’ve got. What “success” have we had trying to keep everyone happy, when the only One we need to please is Him. Even though pleasing “Him” will definitely not always please them.

I remember well my “call into the ministry.” God was really going to make a difference in the church and the world through me. The church, the bride of Christ, was getting a new worker, with energy, ideas, exceptional gifts, great leadership skills learned in the Navy, great courage from flying jets off aircraft carriers, and tremendous convictions about who God is and what He wanted me to do to change people, churches, and the world.

My “ideal image” changed from “John Wayne, Blue Angel” to “Billy Graham, Evangelist, wonderfully faithful servant, beloved by so many.” Then I found my self in a very ugly place…the church.

By the way, Jesus constantly reminds me, “Lea, she may be ugly, but she’s my wife. So watch your mouth!” Of course He says it with great love, but also with great conviction, real clarity, and a not so subtle threat!

I thought nothing could be more wonderful than to teach God’s people, God’s word. Then I found out on a good day, they just wanted more knowledge, but not change. On a bad day, they wanted the world more than the kingdom. I learned that they wanted an employee to do “church work” not a spiritual leader to blaze the trail to the mountain of transfiguration. They could say, do, spit out anything they wanted to, but I was suppose to take it, and be more mouse than man. My obedience to Christ would not make them happy, and instead of talking to me, they talked about me.

“Come on Lord, you didn’t tell me this was what I was signing up for!” Now, I knew why every pastor I asked about going into the ministry said, “If there is anything else in the world you can do and be satisfied, then do it.” At the time, I was underwhelmed by their backdoor affirmation of the “glorious call of God.” Then I learned, they were right, and so I repeat the same thing to young men and women who are considering the ministry.

With all of that said, and there is more, like “God needs me,” “the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few,” “Lea, you’d be such a good pastor,” and the most subtle lie of all, “the church really needs someone like you.” After being called to the ministry and many years of effort for the good of the church and finding my life more difficult than it was before I became a Christian, He told me a secret.

Now, this was just what He “said” to me and it may not apply to you, but then again, it may. “Lea, I called you into the ministry for your good, your learning, your changing, your struggle that will make you stronger. I haven’t trusted my bride to you, I have trusted my bride with you. You were a long way from “the garden” when I got you, and the best and fastest way home, the most effective way to shape you and mold you, is to put you in the grinder…ie. the church. You may think my bride is ugly, and she can act ugly, but she is beautiful and she is my body doing kingdom work, not only around the world in general, but in and on you personally.

You see, Lea, I want you to look like me. And looking like me, means living for, with, and loving my bride the way I do.”

Like so many, I prayed early on “Lord, let me save the world,” but as I grew older, I prayed “Lord, let me help a lot,” and finally my prayer has been, “Lord, I hope I didn’t hurt too many.” And you know what he said, “Lea, I love you. You did help some, you didn’t hurt too many, and experienced what I experienced, some victories and a lot of disappointments, and so that you would ‘weep over Jerusalem’ as I did.”

Somewhere in the New Testament, doesn’t it talk about, being like Christ,”
“suffering like Christ,” “persecuted like Christ” and on and on. Well guess who caused Him the most pain, it was the “church.” And then my oldest son reminded me one day, “Well dad, at least they haven’t crucified you….yet!”

So, “Thank you Lord …. I think.”

What do you think? Could He have called you for your sake and not theirs? Maybe so. Just thought I’d ask.

My Monday Morning Need Of The Gospel

Tullian Tchividjian January 19 2011 - No Comment

For preachers, Monday mornings can be dark. I can’t speak for every preacher, but the devil works hard to discourage me on Monday’s–reminding me of all my faults and failures and how unqualified I am to be doing what I’m doing. I need the gospel every day but sometimes I feel like I need it especially on Monday’s. This is why I went back to the prayer below from my friend Scotty Smith. Scotty’s grasp of the gospel and his ongoing, day-in and day-out need of it, instructs me in the deep places. I pray that you will own this prayer as I have.

Dear Lord Jesus,

While I still believe, with all my heart, you are the only Savior, I now see how more of my heart needs more of you and more of the gospel.

There is nobody on the face of the earth that needs the gospel today, and its transforming resources, more than me, and I am SO glad to be able to acknowledge this reality. I need you today, Jesus, as much as I did in March of 1968 when you washed away all my sins and covered me with the robe of your righteousness.

You have saved me in the past, when I was justified by grace alone through faith alone; you are saving me in the present, as the Holy Spirit applies more and more of your finished work to my whole being; and you will save me in the future, when you return to finish making all things new, including ME!

Lord Jesus, though I’m never tempted to look to any other name for my justification, I am very tempted to look to other names and means for my transformation—worse of all, is when I look to me to be my own savior. But only you, Jesus, are able to save completely those who come to God through you, for you are always living to pray for us and to advocate for us (Heb 7:25). You are my righteousness, holiness and redemption, and that’s why I only boast in you today! (1 Cor. 1:30-31)

So I come to you today, Jesus, right now! Save me more fully from my fear of man, my need to be in control, my ticky-tacky pettiness. Save me from trying to be anybody’s savior. I want to get irritated far less often and to be spontaneous much more often. I want to “light up” more quickly when I hear your name, Jesus, and not be downcast, when I don’t hear my name.

That’s more than enough confession for one day… Indeed, Jesus, I must be saved, I am being saved, through your name alone. Hallelujah!

Thank-you Scotty for pastoring me so well, brother. I thank God that he has provided you as a shepherd of my soul.

“My Top Ten Mistakes In Ministry (That I Can Share Publicly)” #8

Steve Childers January 06 2011 - No Comment

This is the eighth in a series of blog posts called, “My Top Ten Mistakes in Ministry (That I Can Share Publicly.)” After many years of ministry experience as a church planter, pastor and seminary professor, I think I’ve finally learned that one of the best kept secrets to surviving well in the ministry is to stop making the same old mistakes that others (like me) have been making for decades. Instead, let’s all start making some brand new, bold, innovative and creative mistakes!

We began this series with an introduction called, “Ladies First” in which veteran church planter wife, Shari Thomas, addressed the tough topic, What I Wish I Had Known About Church Planting from the perspective of the church planter’s/pastor’s spouse. We then took a look at:

• Mistake #1: (these are in no intentional order)Failing to Understand the Importance of How I Define Ministry Success.
• Mistake #2: Managing My Time and Not Managing My Life
• Mistake #3: Not Understanding the Difference Between my Goals and Desires.
• Mistake #4: Not Understanding the Difference Between Pursuing the Grace of God and the God of Grace.
• Mistake #5: Not Understanding the Way Up is the Way Down
• Mistake #6: Not Understanding the Priority of People Over Programs
• Mistake #7: Not Understanding Product Living VS Process Living

Mistake #8: Not Initiating Supportive Relationships

The new book Preventing Ministry Failure by Michael Wilson and Brad Hoffmann, begins with these telling words, “Great ministers don’t just happen; great falls from ministry don’t just happen either.” They go on to share the results of various surveys of senior ministers that reveal the painfully high percentages of those who:

• have been forced out of or fired from a ministry at least once.
• feel inadequately trained to cope with ministry demands
• believe that pastoral ministry affects their families negatively
• say they’ve experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence
• have a serious conflict with a church member at least once a month
• admit to having an affair while in the ministry
• admit that internet pornography is a current struggle
• do not have someone they consider a close friend

Ministry is hard. The demands and expectations placed on pastors by well-meaning people are often beyond the realm of reason. As the old, well-worn (worn out?) joke painfully puts it:

“The Perfect Pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes. He condemns sin roundly, but never hurts anyone’s feelings. He works from 8 a.m. until midnight, and is also the church janitor. The Perfect Pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church. He is 29 years old and has 40 years’ worth of experience. Above all, he is handsome. The Perfect Pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens. He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church. He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed. The Perfect Pastor always has time for church meetings and all of its committees, never missing the meeting of any church organization. And he is always busy evangelizing the unchurched. The Perfect Pastor is always in the next town over!”

In the face of a host of unrealistic expectations, most Christian leaders continue to “go it alone” without having the healthy, supportive relationships they so desperately need to survive. I wish someone had told me before I began pastoral ministry how critically important it is for me to build healthy, supportive relationships. To be more specific, I wish someone had told me that there are three relationships (or three dynamics in relationships) that can serve as lifelines for healthy, long-term ministry and that this “cord of three” can greatly help me from being just another statistic:

A Coach: Someone Who Comes Alongside and Draws Out SkillsThe first one could be called a coach. This is the kind of person who comes alongside and helps draw out of you what you already know you want to be and do. Like a personal trainer at a gym, you don’t need a close relationship with your coach—although it’s always beneficial. But you do need to respect your coach and allow him/her to hold you accountable to do all the kinds of things you want to do but haven’t been able to pull off on your own.

A Mentor: Someone Who Goes Before and Pours in WisdomA second type relationship could be called a mentor. The mentor is someone who has gone before you in both life and ministry (e.g. an older, wiser pastor), often by a decade or more, and pours back into your life wisdom gained from years of experience. This relationship is often deeper than you might have with a coach but not as deep as with a counselor.

A Counselor: Someone Who Knows Your Heart and Shapes Your AffectionsA counselor, whether a professional clinician or just a godly person, is someone who is not intimidated by you. Your counselor doesn’t just know your external sin patterns but understands well the “sin beneath your sin”, i.e. “the why” underneath “the what” you keep doing or not doing. A good counselor not only helps you to see your heart’s misplaced affections but will also help you repent deeply and well, placing your heart affections back on to Christ.

One Key: Taking the Responsibility and InitiativeBut why is it that most of us do not have supportive relationships like a coach, mentor or counselor? Frankly, I’m afraid it is because we don’t really believe we need them. Therefore we have not truly persisted in taking the initiative to establish these kinds of relationships. Instead we often take a passive posture, complaining about our lack of relational support for life and ministry and blame-shifting the fault to others.

One critically important first step toward unlocking the door to having truly supportive relationships in life and ministry is often a willingness to stop rationalizing why we don’t have them and take the personal responsibility and initiative necessary to establish and sustain them long-term. We cannot make it alone. We are designed by God in his communal image. This means we are designed to do life and ministry in the context of inter-dependent relationships. Without the personal lifelines of people like coaches, mentors and counselors I’m convinced I would have gone down in flames years ago.

It’s interesting. The kind of person truly committed to persevering until these kinds of life-sustaining relationships (coach, mentor, counselor) are established and sustained is usually the kind of person who establishes them and sustains them. I don’t want to sugar-coat this. Just like ministry is hard, it’s also hard, very hard, to establish and maintain supportive personal relationships.

But it’s worth it! Why? Because it’s the pathway that enables you not only to survive but to thrive in the trenches of real-life ministry. Always remember, “Great ministers don’t just happen; great falls from ministry don’t just happen either.”

Steve Childers is the President & CEO of Global Church Advancement, an inter-denominational ministry that provides church planting training, consultations, and resources for church planters, pastors and missionaries throughout the world. Steve has trained Christian leaders from more than 50 countries (curriculum in five major global languages), representing over 200 denominations and mission agencies in 5 continents (& 5 languages). Steve is also an author, Professor of Practical Theology (since 1995) and the Director of the Doctoral program at Reformed Theological Seminary, in Orlando, Florida, where he teaches church planting, missions, evangelism and spiritual formation. To learn more about GCA:

Browse the GCA Website: http://www.gca.cc

Join the GCA Cause: http://bit.ly/X5bZC

See the GCA Blog: http://www.gca.cc/blog/

Follow GCA on Twitter: http://twitter.com/_gca

Follow Steve on Twitter: http://twitter.com/stevechilders

Check out upcoming GCA Events: http://gca.cc/Seminar_Overview.htm

Support GCA: http://gca.cc/Support_GCA.htm

Coaching 102 – Getting Coached

Tom Wood December 22 2010 - No Comment

One time a pastor called and said, “My leadership voted last night to keep me on, but the vote of confidence wasn’t unanimous. I don’t know what I should do now.” One phone call later, I heard this: “Our church is under some kind of attack right now. Every time we seem to make a gain, something happens to set us back two steps.” Both are coaching situations for me.

I believe coaching is essential to your ongoing health in ministry. Some view coaching as a technique driven approach. Here’s how I view it: “Ministry Leader Coaching is a process of imparting encouragement and skills to the leader in order to succeed in their ministry role, in the context of a gospel friendship.”

Coaches are leaders because they are expending influence on another’s life and ministry. Christ is the Head of the Church, universal and in particular, the Head of the church that the ministry leader is serving. Thus the coach must see him/herself as a leader-coach, representing Christ as the Leader. Our Savior accomplishes his purposes through the three offices in which he ministers: Prophet, King, and Priest. Jesus ministers the gospel to us as Prophet, King, and Priest.

Coaches are called to lead and model ministry to others as representatives of Christ, serving them as prophet, king and priest. We are called to be all three, all at once.

But Christ is also our Friend. We must approach all our coaching in the context of friend, not in a place of superiority or expert. With the theologically rich paradigm of prophet, king and priest, coaching is seen as a conversation in a friendship.

I believe coaching is a conversation, which means it is far more than simply asking good questions. Conversations involve people in give and take, questions and answers, advice and direction. It means the pastor/coach will listen, observe, respond, interact, offer insights, support, encourage, and sometimes give directions. Since it is a conversation, it means the ministry leader listens, observes, responds, interacts, offers insights, support, and encouragement and sometimes gives direction

Are you receiving coaching in your ministry? Perhaps you are pooped because you are facing a myriad of issues and have no one with whom you can talk them through. You are the pastor and you are expected to have the answer aren’t you? You have Mastered the Divine right? After all, that is what you are paid to do to. Or maybe you have the false idol yourself. Either way, you might find a coach to be of great help.

My friend is still the pastor of the church. My other friend continues to get three steps forward and a few back, but they are both still in the game!

The Burden of Being Right

Lea Clower December 13 2010 - No Comment

This AM I awoke with a heavy heart again, but the Lord revealed to me that it was not my depression but the “burden of being right”. I have not handled situations-some situations-well, but I was right in _______, at _______ about _______ and _______, and here at _______.

The gift this AM is that I feel the pain and tears of Jesus as he wept over Jerusalem-right before they killed him. I feel the pain of Moses trying to lead a grumbling people whose anger kept him from the promise land on earth, but not the promise land of heaven. I don’t feel like “I told you so” which is real growth for me, but I feel affirmed by the Lord, his quiet but clear confidence, and sad that I want more for people than they want for themselves. I am reminded of the incredible joy of salvation, the thrilling reality of his lordship, and the overwhelming relief that there is a God (no, a loving Father) whose grace and mercy oversees his sovereignty…that I don’t have to fix, correct, control, or run the universe or other people’s lives.

O Lord, let this be an emotional/psychological feeling that lasts because at this moment my theology = my psychology…I feel what I believe.

It is humbling to know “being right”. It is painful being attacked by Satan and others for “dong what’s right”, but it is also a privilege to be, dare I say it, treated like Christ…knowing the pain that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit must feel as they are rejected, ignored, scorned by the very world and people the created and love so much.

God bless you who are on the front lines,

Lea

PS It’s not my fault that they didn’t, or responsibility to make people hear and understand. Only God can give them ears to hear and a heart that’s willing to obey.

PPS My desire for “pastoral success” was definitely part ego and sin, but the other part was God’s desire in me for renewal of the old, maturing of the new, and salvation for the lost…that the church would be healthy AND grow, spiritually first, numerically second.