My good friend Jim Suddath played basketball for Duke in the early 80’s when they went to the final four. We worked together on the same church staff for 13 years and had a lot of fun, especially since I graduated from North Carolina, Chapel Hill. I used to call Duke, “Durham Community College” and he would say, “At least I did more than drink my way through school!”

Anyway, I will never forget the time I said, “Practice makes perfect” and Jim corrected me by say “Perfect practice makes perfect.” I’ve thought a lot about that over the years, and it is so true. If you practice bad habits, you simply perfect what’s wrong. I was a Navy flight instructor, an LSO (Landing Signal Officer) in Pensacola, FL teaching jet students how to land aboard ship for their first time. Every single landing at the field in preparation for going to the ship and every arrested landing aboard ship was graded, critiqued, and debriefed. This was true for the rest of their career as carrier pilots. “Arriving alive” wasn’t enough. It had to be done exceptionally well, and especially at night. Interestingly enough the grading system still let you know you weren’t perfect and that there was always work to be done. A “perfect” approach and landing grade was an OK. OK, underlined, with no comment. A near perfect pass was still just an OK. For a perfectionist like me, basketball, carrier landings, life, and “quiet times” can be real bummers.

Now Jim understands grace a whole lot better than I do. For example, when Duke loses to North Carolina, Jim knows it’s not the end of the world as we know it. But when Carolina loses to Duke I am miserable for at least three days, like my mother had died or something.

You see “perfect practice” does make “perfect”, but it’s not going to happen in this world. Carolina is not always going to beat Duke. Only a few carrier landings in any pilot’s career are graded OK. Perfect practice and perfect games are just not going to happen in my life or in yours. But grace is always greater and always enough. Like the concert pianist told the boy playing chop sticks…”you keep playing what you can, and I’ll fill in the rest.”

I’ve tried to have a perfect quiet time, because that means I’ll have a perfect day, right?… wrong! But I have found something that works for me. It is what I call an “honest” quiet time. Every time I spiritually “check boxes” especially in the morning, He is silent. Equally true, every time I’m honest with Him in that “time of quiet”, I “hear” Him speak. Such things as: “I love you.” “I love you anyway.” “I forgave you yesterday, the first time you asked.” “I’m glad you admitted that, I’ve known it for a long time.” “Not only do I forgive you, but you need to ask their forgiveness. And no matter their response, that will please me.” “I know. The fall messed up My plans too, but I’m fixing it, even though you think I’m slow.” “A pity party is OK for a little while, but if it goes on too long, you’ve forgotten how much greater my grace is than the pain.” “Come here son, let me hold you. Everything really is going to work out. I promise.” And, I’ve even heard Him “say” (and this is my favorite) “Yes, Lea, your favorite bumper sticker is right – LIFE SUCKS THEN YOU DIE! – but don’t forget, when you die the party really begins!”

Guys, when it comes to your “quiet time”, there is no such thing as a perfect one, but there is such a thing as an “honest one” which will be enough for today. And maybe it would help you, like it has helped me, to call it a “time of quiet” rather than “quiet time”. There is just too much perfectionism in the old “check the box” name and too many expectations that it will be a “lucky charm” for the day. Remember: shredded wheat without sugar may not be as exciting as Shoney’s breakfast bar, but it is just as nourishing. So “eat” your spiritual breakfast with a time of quiet with our Father. It’s more filling, fulfilling and nourishing. And He told me that He enjoys it more that way too!

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