But they all cried out together, “Away with this man…” – Luke 23:18
Since this is my first blog entry, and hopefully not my last, I guess I should give a very short introduction. I’ve been a practicing counselor for 30 years; I’ve served twenty of those years in church and para-church ministries; I have always provided services to pastors and their families for no fees; Steve Brown was my pastor for many years; I am the Executive Director of PastorServe South Florida – a ministry to care, support, counsel and love on pastors; I’m also a doctoral student researching clergy stress, burnout and mobbing. Mob what?
The fact that you are reading a blog for pooped pastors means that you may well have experienced something that until fairly recently has not had a name attached to it. Its a devastating experience that often results in pastors leaving the ministry. Its called mobbing. Although this may not sound familiar, every pastor I talk too tells me they have either been mobbed or know a dozen other pastors that have experienced it.
Mobbing is related to workplace bullying, organizational power factions, forced resignations, and forced terminations. Mobbing is defined as the prolonged malicious harassment of a coworker by a group of other members of an organization to secure the removal from the organization of the one who is targeted. Mobbing involves a small group of people and results in the humiliation, devaluation, discrediting, degradation, loss of reputation and the removal of the target through termination, extended medical leave or quitting. It is a traumatizing experience that often results in significant financial, career, health, emotional and social loss. Mobbing is unjust, unfair and undeserved. In a church setting the organization includes staff members, elders, deacons, and congregation members.
Church mobbings can be set in motion by a church member, elder, deacon or staff member. The target might be a senior pastor, associate pastor, or ministry staff. Usually there is a focus on some issue of disagreement (robes or no robes) that triggers the mobbing. Sometimes there are just vague “problems.” The pastor is rarely confronted by individuals seeking to solve an actual problem or there may be a bullying attempt to control the pastor. The mobbing begins as others are pulled in and are persuaded that the target is the problem. In churches there is rarely, if ever, a chance for the pastor to face his accusers because of the “people are saying” syndrome and “they” don’t want to cause problems! Mobbing is progressive and eventually the targeted pastor is so confused by the unfairness of it ,and so in shock by the brutality of it, they simply don’t know what to do. In addition, pastors are often told not to talk to anyone or they will split the church and that would not honor Christ. Spiritual, emotional, relational and financial ploys are all available to the mob as weapons, tactics, and strategies employed in the removal of the target.
The impact of mobbing on pastors and their families is profound and traumatizing. The personal impact includes deep humiliation, anger, anxiety, fear, depression, and isolation. There is often a profound sense of shame (guilt is “I’ve done something bad,” shame is “I am something bad”) that works to redefine all previous accomplishments as meaningless and all future hopes as dashed. In short, mobbing often convinces the target that they are failures and always will be.
The spiritual impact can also be profound and often result in a crisis of faith and leaving pastoral ministry. Pastors serve Christ and love people and when “Christians” treat them with such contempt and malice, how can a pastor come to grips with that? Persecution from non-believers is one thing but execution by congregants is an enormous betrayal. The pastor attempts to find biblical solace and comfort but mobbing is so unjust and so unfair, and the pain so profound, that they often feel abandoned even by the Lord. They know that its not true but emotionally and spiritually they are devastated.
Every relationship is impacted by a mobbing. The spouse and children pay an especially high price as they watch their loved one being unjustly mistreated and are often the recipients of the pain being expressed by the pastor. Unfortunately that pain is expressed through anger, resentment, conflict eruptions and isolation. Most frequently the pastor is so confused and ashamed at what is taking place they remain silent and isolated from family and friends which only serves to deepen the trauma. They are fearful that even their family members believe they have brought this upon themselves.
While a mobbing is taking place the pastor and his family do not know who they can trust or who they can talk to. Fearing further reprisals they remain silent, deepening their isolation, and become either depressed or physically ill. It is a vicious cycle that, because of the shame attached to it, doesn’t end when they leave the church.
What’s a pastor to do? For starters, talk to someone who can help you understand what has happened to you. Now that you have a name for it you can begin to release some of the shame you have been feeling. For many of you reading this, just having a name put to your experience is comforting. Given the traumatizing affect of mobbing, I believe its imperative you find an experienced counselor to help you in the healing process.
Finally, talk to the Lord and honestly express your pain, confusion, fear and resentment. Take the time to pray with your spouse about the pain and fear asking the Lord to enter into it and provide comfort beyond what you are capable of experiencing. Psalms 34:18 tells us that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit and David tells us in Psalm 62 to pour out our hearts to him for God is our refuge. Also know that Christ can provide a special comfort to you because he too was mobbed and he loves you.
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March 31st, 2010 at 10:06 am
Thanks for the column. Mobbing can come from the denomination as well as the local church
April 5th, 2010 at 7:00 am
Thanks for the column on mobbing. I felt like you had been reading my diary.
April 19th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
An interesting thesis. If I kept a diary like Russ (hello, Russ) I’d agree. It’s more like you’ve read my biography in the Church. As for Lee’s comment, yes, the denomination can mob as well. In my experience they are less involved actively, and play more of a supporting and abetting role.
I’m interested in the term that you use. It’s intriguing because it doesn’t take a mob, as in a large group. It only takes an unconscionable few to create the damage you describe. In trying to come up with my own descriptor I’ve looked at the damage and who is involved. The destruction wrought by these actors is deep and intimate. It goes to the core of who and what your are – of what you think and of how you relate. It is the kind of trauma that can only be cause by a breach of trust within an intimate relationship. When we see it in other settings we might call it spousal rape. It’s the kind of thing that is so heinous that the veil of intimacy won’t allow us to talk about he depth of betrayal outside the relationship. And there is no effective talking about it within the relationship. There is no objective third party to hold the partners accountable to each other than to the vows they’ve made to each other.
What is here called Mobbing I’ve called Institutional Rape. It can happen in a number of ways, but as long as the abuse is not taken seriously or dealt with dealt with effectively the devastating effects are the same as with rape but because there is no sex involved and no blood is shed, it’s passed over as of no consequence.
The reason that people leave the Church is twofold. The first is to get away from the continue abuse. You finally have to resign yourself to the fact that while grace might be seen in full flower in the Church, sin is going to be allowed to roam free in its most vile form. So why hang around any longer.
The second reason is has to do with the definition of insanity. If the same hope and the same actions continue to yield the same results, then change. This is the point when theodicy becomes an issue. For me it came down to Who is sovereign in the Church? The one who is sovereign is the one who can make their rules stick. I’m not sovereign in my own house if someone else can come in, take over, and I do nothing about it. If people of evil intent or of immoral action call the shots and are not over ruled or stand unchallenged, then who is sovereign in the Church? It doesn’t appear to be God. And if God is not sovereign, what’s the point of hanging around?
I’ve found I can be a better follower of Christ if I just avoid being dragged down by what was once called the Church.
April 20th, 2010 at 6:51 am
Erich,
Thanks for your response. You are correct on all counts: mobbing can take place denominationally and it usually involves a very small group of individuals. Many outside agents unwittingly get involved and further the damage. Mobbing is actually at the root of at least several of the notorious rampage shootings. Va Tech is the most documented from an organizational mobbing perspective.
Mobbing is the agreed upon name in the research literature. It has been widely researched in Europe and there are significant workplace safety laws in place there. Its only recently been researched here in the US and I know of no studies relating mobbing to forced termination of pastors…which is what my dissertation is on. Google mobbing and you will find there are some good resource. Mobbin-usa.com is the result of two of the top researchers on this side of the pond. Although my blog does not include references it is entirely written based on the current mobbing research. My next blog will focus on workplace bullying and spiritual abusivenss.
Mobbing has been referred to as psychological terror and that begins to capture a sense of institutional rape you speak of. I am sorry for your experiences. Its such a shaming and demeaning process. I’d be happy to speak with you if you felt it would be helpful.
Steve
May 7th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I’ve also witnessed situations where the pastor is not allowed to confront his accusers because of the claim that they are protected by law as “whistle blowers.”
May 18th, 2010 at 9:56 am
Having lived through a mobbing experience, it continues to hurt and haunt me. My explanation is when it comes to a leader’s failures, churches and organizations are ill equipped to handle the problem because the gospel has not been applied to this area of life.
Another way of describing mobbing is groupthink. If you Google groupthink, you will find great explanations which fit the dynamics of mobbing. When you add in fear and anger, you can understand why mobbing takes place in the name of God. It is usually explained, this is for the leaders good. However, the leader is quickly jettisoned from the community’s life. He becomes a persona not grata.
How does a fired leader find the grace of the gospel to continue? For me, I had to realize what Jesus said. I am not above my master. If you lead in the name of Jesus, you will be persecuted, betrayed and rejected. Mobbing is my thorn in the flesh (I think it was Paul’s too). I have had to learn compassion and forgiveness on a level I did not think is possible. I have had to learn His grace is more than sufficient. Some days, I forget and need fresh faith and repentance. When Paul says, he has learned to be content with insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities, I realize daily I desperately need the gospel. It sounds bizarre, but it is a wonderful place. Strength through weakness – wow! His beauty for my ashes is an incredible gift.
There are examples of churches and organizations working with struggling leaders to help them. The easy way, the world’s way is throw the troubled leader out, the hard way is go the way of the cross and to show costly love to the leader in crisis.
My mobbing experienced has brought so much good into my life. I have entered into dimensions of the grace of the gospel I would not have learned any other way. It was a severe mercy. Thanks Steve for giving my experience a name. There are many Christian leaders who need healing and hope from their mobbing experience.
May 23rd, 2010 at 6:26 pm
Mobbing – That’s a new one for me.
Doesn’t sound like much fun at all.
Is it possible the reason “Burnout” is such a problem
for **Today’s** “Pastor/Leader” is they have found themselves
with a “Title” and “Position” NOT found in the Bible?
Did anyone have the “Title” “pastor” in the Bible?
Was anyone ordained a “pastor” in the Bible?
Were any congregations “led” by a “pastor” in the Bible?
And every “pastor” I’ve met also had the “Title” “Reverend.”
Does anyone have the “Title” Reverend in the Bible?
Does anyone have the “Title” and “Position” – “Pastor/Leader” – in the Bible?
Jesus taught “His Disciples” NOT to be called “Master/Leader”
For you have “ONE” “Master/Leader” The Christ. Mat 23:8-10 KJV
Ezekiel 14:1-7, speaks about “Idols of the Heart,”
and now God will speak to us according to the “Idols of our Heart.”
Has that “Title” “Pastor/Leader” become an “Idol?”
In my experience…
Titles become Idols.
Pastors become Masters.
Heavy weights on shoulders NOT easy to lay down.
And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold:
them also I must bring, and they shall “hear my voice;”
and there shall be “ONE” fold, and “ONE” shepherd.
John 10:16
One Fold – One Shepherd – One Voice.
If Not Now, When?
Be blessed in your search for Truth… Jesus.
June 6th, 2010 at 9:48 pm
I am familiar with the term “mobbing” from my birdwatching daughter. In that field the term describes an event were two or more small birds will harass a larger bird of prey until the much larger bird decides that peace will only come from leaving the area.
I encountered mobbing in my first pastorate and left the pastorate for 15 years. I am back pastoring, in a different denomination, but I still have flash-backs of my experience in the little church in the twilight zone.
July 2nd, 2010 at 8:57 am
I’m not in Ministry. Not a pastor/priest. I did go through a mobbing for 1 year at work, up until last fall. It was horribly painful to go through. People would just “appear” to say something horribly cruel and then go back to work. Or they would call me on the phone and ask for something obnoxious, laugh and then hang up. I would be followed about and I started to get afraid for my own safety (a few of the men found it to be a fun “game” to stalk me in the halls/outside when I’d come in to work; or get really gross where it bordered other types of harrassment).
I figured out that management wanted me gone when I went to complain about the other types of harrassment – so I just tolerated it until I could leave. Downsizing occurred at that organization and I suspect that was another piece to the mobbing phenomenon in my case.
I got afraid to go to work mainly b/c of the stalking game. So I resigned. I couldn’t go to anyone b/c the mobbers were all in cahoots with Management/HR (fairly small organization).
In my case, after I’d quit my job, it spilled into the small community I live in and went on for about half a year later. I’m thankful that it’s stopped for the past several months. Places I loved to go to I had to quit shopping/eating at b/c of being subtely mocked/mimicked to my face by waitstaff; having comments made assoc. with that place; or just plain rudeness. I found after talking to someone else in the community, that there were others around who’d gone through the same stuff at local businesses – if you needed a surgery, had a husband/wife who’d committed suicide/was ill in the hospital, mobbers use that information as ammunition against you and find it hilarious to pick at you.
I believe in God. I just think most people are ignorant and find it fun to humiliate another b/c of their own insecurities or just to puff up their own egos.
November 30th, 2010 at 2:16 am
I can’t beleive people who claim to believe in God and follow Jesus would do such awful things to another human being, even knowing how much they can hurt a person and their family. I never knew people could be so cruel.
Thanks for sharing this story.I never realized that people would just go along with the crowd instead of thinking for themselves. It’s a sadder world for me now.
January 25th, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Heather – yes. People enjoy this stuff. In fact, one woman in the community who particularly enjoyed all this (and really helped it fester further) was a regular churchgoer.
January 25th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Also, I think that the word for people who start mobbings is: Gate keepers. They contain information and they can foment it into a flurry by poisoning peoples’ minds to get them to do whatever they want.
March 29th, 2011 at 11:17 pm
Our church is doing this to our family right now. The only difference? It is the Pastor, his family, and their friends, doing it to US. Why? Because we addressed a very serious and specific problem that put the church at great risk.
Our pastor allowed a registered sex offender whose current probation required no contact with minors to hold several positions of authority. This man was a chaperone for a teen rally. In the past he had gone to youth camp. He had transported children. He taught young adults, some with children, and befriended their families. Many kids in the church are brought in by bus. Their parents were never told.
He was recently jailed twice. Once for domestic violence and once for an unrelated probation violation. He has another violation hearing coming soon.
The Pastor and other trustees refused to even consider making any kind of safety contract, even when we discovered that a former member reported the situation to the media. The Pastor had three weeks to prevent the news story from airing. He would not budge.
We gave documentation to these men. None of them cared, some asked for more and more proof that this man was dangerous.
As you can guess, the news story aired.
Within hours, the hatred started.
I will continue with more if you like, but this is still fresh.
Rick Anonymous
March 30th, 2011 at 9:02 am
So, to continue…And, I apologize for the length…
We who know the truth about this man, lets call him Tom, are now being publicly denigrated, and privately threatened. Several people made false child abuse allegations agaist a young woman who foolishly posted a link to the news story on a social website. This happened just this past weekend. The names of her accusers matched two names of those who threatened her.
My years of dedication and service mean nothing to this mob. My honesty and integrity has been called into question. The cruel things stated reveal how un-Christ-like my former friends truly are.
At first, I tried to console my soul. I knew that the family members of our Pastor would be outraged. Then, the attacks spread out to anyone perceived as on our side. We don’t want a side. We wanted safety and accountability and LEADERSHIP from the man we believed loved his WHOLE flock. Sadly, we now have seen the truth about more than just one man. One man threatened my son, because he spoke up, without anger or rudeness. This same man said he will never believe Tom abused his wife until he sees pictures. I was sick in my heart. I know what the police report said happened. I read the bench warrant motion. A judge found Tom guilty, and I know we are supposed to forgive and forget. How can we if he refuses to even admit it? Any of it? He blames everyone else. He called his original victim a liar. She was 9yo when she testified. Can’t any of them understand the terror she felt? All those adults questioning her? That 12 folks on a jury believed her should be enough. They all say Tom’s word is enough.
The mob claims we keep bringing up this ancient conviction. It is, afterall, how Tom started down this road of criminal behavior. At least as an adult. The repeated actions mean nothing to them. Without that first “problem” in his life, Tom would only be a convicted spouse abuser.
I am mostly just confused. How can these people not see that it is the Pastor who caused this? Tom who caused this? We warned them what might happen. All this info is on the web. It was not only possible, but very likely.
And, God forbid Tom had abused a child from the church.
Thanks,
Rick
May 26th, 2011 at 4:58 pm
I had my own experience with a mobbing in a church in 2009. I resigned in September of that year. It is now the spring of 2011 and I am finally have assumed the position as a full-time minister in another church.
The devastation you describe is precisely what I experienced. The anxiety and inability to trust continue to hang on even now. This makes it very difficult to serve and love the new people in the church where I am.
June 1st, 2011 at 7:50 am
Steve,
thanks for this mate. It was very educational for me. This was my first experience of ministry. My wife and I withstood it for 2 1/2 years before I left, my wife with diagnosed depression which her doctor had quadrupled the strength of her medications to help her cope. Sadly, some in our denomination were against us leaving… seeming to think it was all in our heads or something.
The main tactic seemed to be to be nice to me, but then abuse (literally yell and scream publicly) at my wife and children after I had left to go to another preaching place to conduct the next service.
For us, the best thing was leaving. We are still (Praise the Lord) in ministry, and are in a great church as part of a team ministry. To be honest, I think this is one of the greatest things/helps with mobbing – being in a team ministry. You have someone else going through it with you to talk to and share that burden.
Anyway, it was a good read, and I found it interesting that it happens so often now that they’ve put a name to it. I’ve forwarded it to my wife to have a read of.
Thanks again. Digger
September 7th, 2011 at 10:05 pm
I never knew it had a name. So sad that it is common enough to HAVE a name. I could have written this, down to the last detail. It happened to me. It was over six years ago, and I’m still not over it. My children who are old enough to remember it will never be the same. I get so angry thinking about it sometimes, I want to go back and shake those people and scream in their faces, “Why did you hurt us like you did?” It was unspeakably cruel, merciless, and cowardly.
I have written about my experience at my own blog: http://knowtea.com/?p=1010
September 20th, 2011 at 10:29 am
[...] Vensel September 20 2011 Tweet Last year I wrote a blog on mobbing: Mobbing is an emotional assault in which a hostile workplace environment is created through [...]
September 26th, 2011 at 12:04 pm
[...] It is risky. And being a pastor, well you open yourself up for “Mobbing” (read Vensel’s blog on mobbing). You know the [...]
October 5th, 2011 at 10:30 pm
The early church experienced mobbing from pagans all the time. This is not a new phenomenon. It is horrid.