I really want to smoke weed.
I’ve never once in my 28 years had the slightest desire to smoke weed…until now.
Why now? Why is there an inescapable burning in the bowels of my being to smoke weed?
Because I’m a youth pastor.
Seriously, the reason I want to smoke weed IS because I am a youth pastor. I have racked my brain for weeks trying to uncover where this unmentionable desire is rooted and I can’t think of another reason or other change in my life that would bring about such a yearning. So, I have concluded the blame rests solely on my profession.
It is a hard, at times unbearable, profession…but wait, have I forgotten that I get paid to just hang out with teenagers all day, buy Venti Java Chips on the church credit card and go paint-balling?! (Did I mention I get paid?!)
So why then do most youth pastors last only 18 months?
Doctors and psychologists say that the human brain isn’t fully formed until the age of 22. As youth pastors, we are not working with fully formed humans!
This morning, I was reading in Luke 6 (my goal was to read through all four Gospels during Lent…as I am writing this, Easter has come and gone, and I still have Matthew, John and most of Luke to read) and came across the familiar story of the wise and foolish builders.
I started to think about our calling as youth pastors and what role we would take on a construction site. We are part of the foundation laying team (along with parents, teachers, even peers). Our work doesn’t take place above ground, but below. Scientifically speaking, the building isn’t done for 22 years.
Unfortunately, we are often coerced—maybe even forced—to ignore our role as foundation layers, and we begin to try and do work to which we aren’t called. The building’s façade is not our problem!
The senior pastor wants our ministry to be thriving and relevant (meaning our numbers should be up…even if his aren’t)…
Parents want their kids fixed (not unlike a dog…sex and teenagers is scary…remember…I do)…
We desperately want to be liked (there’s a reason I drive a Jeep and brush my teeth).
We could easily spend all of our time making our students look good because more than likely, as youth pastors who last an average of 18 months, we will be long gone when the storm hits and the foundation or lack thereof is revealed.
Although it may get us fired, I am certain that if the foundation we lay is grace (even with its inherent “risk” of abuse), the building, even if it doesn’t look very pretty, will remain standing long after Starbucks declares Chapter 11 and paint-ball is no longer a fun but painful activity.
I do apologize for the horrible exegesis of this sacred text…just one more reason I am not a “real” pastor, but only a youth pastor.
Unlike Steve who can say to pastors, “Been there, done that and got the t-shirt,” I’m just there.
I hope you will join me and other brothers and sisters “who don’t really work” in the new youth pastors’ forum as we share stories, confess sins and encourage one another. Because what we do matters…a lot. Ask any builder.
And if you read an anonymous confession to smoking weed, don’t assume it’s me.
So glad it’s all about grace.
Zach
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June 9th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
It’s legal in the Netherlands.
June 14th, 2009 at 7:45 am
Having the desire to smoke a joint or to drink a Bud is part of the “I want to fit in syndrome” so that we can relate to our students. It’s hard to explain something when we have know ideal except only what we read.
I can say “Been there, Done that” and not say that about the desire to do these things, but to actually doing them before the Grace of God took over in my life.
Students need to know how you cope with the life you are living (including some desires) and how God brings you through it. That is the foundation they will build on in their own life and some will even fall under the “Been there, Done that” and will have to do as Luke mentions about the builder, “digged deep” to lay their foundation. You just have to help shovel the dirt out of the way.
I know everything I just wrote seems a little confusing but if it does make a little sense then we both can say thank-you Lord!
June 17th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Zack,
You wrote, “just one more reason I am not a “real” pastor, but only a youth pastor.”
Where did you get the idea that being a youth pastor did not make you a real pastor? What a bunch of Satan filled Horse do-do.
I went to my denomination’s Seminary. But instead of the usual route and graduating with a Master’s in Divinity, I was a “colloquy” student. That means I had extensive church work experience and would graduate as Ordained, but without the M.Div. degree. Does that make me “not a real pastor?”
You are a real pastor, wrestling with how to relate and communicate with teens. Stick with building relationships and sharing God’s grace, through faith in Christ. Eventually they will get the message. Those that do will hold it for life.
June 18th, 2009 at 10:33 am
From a hotel in Napa Valley and a little bit tipsy from all the wine tastings…
Jeff – I know I am a real pastor. I’ve never worked so hard in my entire life. This week while on vacation I got a call from a parent whose child ran away.
My comment about not being a “real” pastor was a joke. Because whenever I tell someone what I do, they always ask when I think I will get to be a Senior (aka “real”) Pastor. That drives me nuts!
So glad it’s all about grace.
Zach
PS – Thanks to everyone for reading the blog. Make sure to participate in the forums and tell your youth PASTOR friends