Comments on: “I can’t fix this and I don’t have the energy to try” http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/ For Pooped Pastors By Pooped Pastors Fri, 20 Aug 2010 00:04:34 -0400 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Zach http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-11616 Zach Wed, 07 Jul 2010 18:58:22 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-11616 Wow, Stan. That's a pretty incredible charge and response. Thank you for sharing it. I'm sure it will benefit all those on this site. It definitely has brought me to repentance and faith. Just prayed for you and your girl with tremendous thankfulness for both of you. Wow, Stan. That’s a pretty incredible charge and response. Thank you for sharing it. I’m sure it will benefit all those on this site. It definitely has brought me to repentance and faith. Just prayed for you and your girl with tremendous thankfulness for both of you.

]]> By: Stan Starkey http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-11574 Stan Starkey Tue, 06 Jul 2010 21:48:55 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-11574 There is something that happens inside of us, when as men of good will, we look at the woman before us, after having known the girl, and we realize that she carries pain and sadness that we have had a hand in creating. I don't mean that we personally are responsible for every line of care or every disappointment with life, but we are there to defend, protect and hold this girl through all of life's storms, and the truth is many times we are at the center of those storms creating the turmoil and not sheltering her from it. Zach, if I could, I would go back and do so many things differently. I would pour way more time into my girl than I poured anywhere else. I would talk to her more, listen to her more, and look at her more. I would spend less time at church. I would spend less time with the "needy" people in the church (who are always going to be needy until Jesus comes). I would put as much effort, time and expense into knowing her, understanding her and continuing to win her heart, as I have any church related project.I would go to the mall and to the beach with her, even though I hate those things passionately, and I would choose to have a good time doing it. I am on a journey to change an outcome, and I am convinced it would have been more profitable, to me, my children, and Jesus, to never have gotten here in the first place. We have been together since grade nine, (we are now in our fifties) and I know that what we have is not what she thought she was getting,not even close, and by the time I figured it out it almost felt like it was irreparable...but it was not, it is not. We can change, we can choose better paths with greater return for the ones we love. Let the picture in the kitchen sink in and etch itself indelibly into the screen in your mind, and beside it place a picture of that girl with the glow and the look in her eyes that you saw when you fell in love with her.By God's grace you have a long time ahead of you and there is much that can be done to trade in the mistress of ministry, for the wife of our youth and our first love, Jesus. There is something that happens inside of us, when as men of good will, we look at the woman before us, after having known the girl, and we realize that she carries pain and sadness that we have had a hand in creating. I don’t mean that we personally are responsible for every line of care or every disappointment with life, but we are there to defend, protect and hold this girl through all of life’s storms, and the truth is many times we are at the center of those storms creating the turmoil and not sheltering her from it. Zach, if I could, I would go back and do so many things differently. I would pour way more time into my girl than I poured anywhere else. I would talk to her more, listen to her more, and look at her more. I would spend less time at church. I would spend less time with the “needy” people in the church (who are always going to be needy until Jesus comes). I would put as much effort, time and expense into knowing her, understanding her and continuing to win her heart, as I have any church related project.I would go to the mall and to the beach with her, even though I hate those things passionately, and I would choose to have a good time doing it.
I am on a journey to change an outcome, and I am convinced it would have been more profitable, to me, my children, and Jesus, to never have gotten here in the first place. We have been together since grade nine, (we are now in our fifties) and I know that what we have is not what she thought she was getting,not even close, and by the time I figured it out it almost felt like it was irreparable…but it was not, it is not. We can change, we can choose better paths with greater return for the ones we love.
Let the picture in the kitchen sink in and etch itself indelibly into the screen in your mind, and beside it place a picture of that girl with the glow and the look in her eyes that you saw when you fell in love with her.By God’s grace you have a long time ahead of you and there is much that can be done to trade in the mistress of ministry, for the wife of our youth and our first love, Jesus.

]]> By: Zach http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-11233 Zach Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:56:22 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-11233 37 years! Wow. Thanks for the encouragement. Just prayed for you and Marilyn. 37 years! Wow.

Thanks for the encouragement.

Just prayed for you and Marilyn.

]]> By: Doug http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-11210 Doug Tue, 22 Jun 2010 20:51:20 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-11210 My wife and I will celebrate 37 years of marriage this December. I met her in a church revival one night and I fell for her on the spot. We dated three years and we were married on December 14, 1973. She is the apple of my eye. Our marriage hasn't been easy. I am the pastor of a small church and she teaches the preschool class. Everytime our church starts to grow, satan will do something to try and discourage us. Sometimes we take each other for granted. That's when I have to lay down some of the work I do and take her out on a date. I need to find the right balance in my life between work and home. I am doing better but I have a ways to go yet. We could not have made it this far if we didn't have God in our lives. Remember us when you pray. Doug & Marilyn My wife and I will celebrate 37 years of marriage this December. I met her in a church revival one night and I fell for her on the spot. We dated three years and we were married on December 14, 1973. She is the apple of my eye. Our marriage hasn’t been easy. I am the pastor of a small church and she teaches the preschool class. Everytime our church starts to grow, satan will do something to try and discourage us. Sometimes we take each other for granted. That’s when I have to lay down some of the work I do and take her out on a date. I need to find the right balance in my life between work and home. I am doing better but I have a ways to go yet. We could not have made it this far if we didn’t have God in our lives. Remember us when you pray.

Doug & Marilyn

]]> By: Zach http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-10426 Zach Sun, 30 May 2010 00:19:16 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-10426 Louise. We will have been married 9 years this August. (So I can't count all the years starting back in 5th grade?) Thanks for the encouraging words and CONGRATS on 30 years! Thankful for you. Zach Louise.

We will have been married 9 years this August. (So I can’t count all the years starting back in 5th grade?)

Thanks for the encouraging words and CONGRATS on 30 years!

Thankful for you.
Zach

]]> By: Louise Holzhauer http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-10409 Louise Holzhauer Sat, 29 May 2010 15:06:23 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-10409 How long have you two been married? (No, your long courtship doesn't count.) I have to tell you that the first fifteen years of my marriage were pretty stinky. As God shapes our hearts, they tend to fit together in new and better ways. I feel so sorry for people who give up before they get to the good part! I'm celebrating 30 years this week, and I can only wonder what our 60th anniversary will be like. Strength for the road, Zach, with much love and gratitude in Christ. How long have you two been married? (No, your long courtship doesn’t count.) I have to tell you that the first fifteen years of my marriage were pretty stinky. As God shapes our hearts, they tend to fit together in new and better ways. I feel so sorry for people who give up before they get to the good part! I’m celebrating 30 years this week, and I can only wonder what our 60th anniversary will be like. Strength for the road, Zach, with much love and gratitude in Christ.

]]> By: Roger Brittingham http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-7201 Roger Brittingham Sun, 28 Feb 2010 05:02:50 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-7201 Wisdom on that subject no, but I know how you feel. After a full day of ministering to different personalities, you just want a safe place where all is right. We long for our wives to be on the same chapter, page and verse that we are channeling, but it seems that this is not the way it works. We must remember however that God has orchastrated our past, present, and future and if we are truly following him, he knows and understands our needs even if our best friend in our wife doesn't. I have been preaching that you cannot have perfect peace unless we wait on God for the large and small things in life. Now we are selling our house and my wife wants to know every aspect of the plan for the next 10 moves, however I'm not wise enough to tell her, I'm waiting on God. She is troubled by this. She sees things differently. As men of God, we must always choose the cross first and family may or maynot understand that they must be second. Wives hate this in their heart of hearts, but this must be. We however must keep our hearts and minds and lives pure so that we are not chasing other motives and missing out on our families lives. Only the footsteps of Jesus can be more important. One assignment at a time with his leading. Wisdom on that subject no, but I know how you feel. After a full day of ministering to different personalities, you just want a safe place where all is right. We long for our wives to be on the same chapter, page and verse that we are channeling, but it seems that this is not the way it works.

We must remember however that God has orchastrated our past, present, and future and if we are truly following him, he knows and understands our needs even if our best friend in our wife doesn’t.

I have been preaching that you cannot have perfect peace unless we wait on God for the large and small things in life. Now we are selling our house and my wife wants to know every aspect of the plan for the next 10 moves, however I’m not wise enough to tell her, I’m waiting on God. She is troubled by this. She sees things differently.

As men of God, we must always choose the cross first and family may or maynot understand that they must be second. Wives hate this in their heart of hearts, but this must be. We however must keep our hearts and minds and lives pure so that we are not chasing other motives and missing out on our families lives. Only the footsteps of Jesus can be more important. One assignment at a time with his leading.

]]> By: Rob http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-6993 Rob Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:57:30 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-6993 Zach, Thank you for the warning that the rest of us must heed. When I was a student at the Moody Bible Institute one of my professors Dr. Dwight Perry said that Satan sometimes can't attack you professionally so he then goes after your family. If he can take your family down then he has taken you down too. I've been married almost 23 years and I can tell you that there are times when I am in the groove relationship wise and then there are times I am not. It's just something you got to get through. I agree with you that sometimes we give a lot out and we don't have enough attention for our families when we get home. To be honest at times I am not sure what to do about it. Anybody else got some wisdom? Zach, Thank you for the warning that the rest of us must heed. When I was a student at the Moody Bible Institute one of my professors Dr. Dwight Perry said that Satan sometimes can’t attack you professionally so he then goes after your family. If he can take your family down then he has taken you down too. I’ve been married almost 23 years and I can tell you that there are times when I am in the groove relationship wise and then there are times I am not. It’s just something you got to get through. I agree with you that sometimes we give a lot out and we don’t have enough attention for our families when we get home. To be honest at times I am not sure what to do about it. Anybody else got some wisdom?

]]> By: Zach http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-6764 Zach Thu, 18 Feb 2010 03:03:41 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-6764 Hi Mike. Thanks for your honest and vulnerable response. We all need to know we aren't the only ones who struggle and don't have it all together. Just prayed for you with great thankfulness for you. Zach Hi Mike.

Thanks for your honest and vulnerable response.

We all need to know we aren’t the only ones who struggle and don’t have it all together.

Just prayed for you with great thankfulness for you.
Zach

]]> By: Mike Albin http://www.poopedpastors.com/blogs/%e2%80%9ci-can%e2%80%99t-fix-this-and-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-the-energy-to-try/comment-page-1/#comment-6701 Mike Albin Tue, 16 Feb 2010 16:49:10 +0000 http://www.poopedpastors.com/?p=1057#comment-6701 I appreciate your story, as I live in the same world. My wife and I have been doing Worship ministry for over 10 years now. At first we were in it together, but now we're so far apart that sometimes I can't see where we started. I love her dearly, but find it difficult to even think about persuing her, as I once did. We have gone for some good counseling for a few years, but that didn't fix it. I've tried, but I can't fix it either. About 6 years ago I was really frustrated and I remember spending an enormous amout of time crying out to God, "Please help me with this, please fix this marriage 'cause I don't know waht to do anymore!!!" After a few weeks of this and feeling really stressed, I finally got an answer for God. I knew it was God 'cause I wouldn't have said it to myself. God told me, "I never promised you that I'd fix your marriage, I just told you that I'd be there with you through it". Man did that piss me off!!! I spent more time yelling at God and arguing with Him, and then in a shorter space of time, He spoke again (again I knew it was Him, 'cause I wouldn't have said it) He said, "My grace is sufficient". That also didn't make me happy, until it sunk in. He keeps reminding me of that. Our marriage isn't that much better, we have our good moments, and I'm still trying to fix things (mostly unsuccessfully) and God keeps showering me with grace. I soooo need it! Mike I appreciate your story, as I live in the same world. My wife and I have been doing Worship ministry for over 10 years now. At first we were in it together, but now we’re so far apart that sometimes I can’t see where we started. I love her dearly, but find it difficult to even think about persuing her, as I once did. We have gone for some good counseling for a few years, but that didn’t fix it. I’ve tried, but I can’t fix it either.

About 6 years ago I was really frustrated and I remember spending an enormous amout of time crying out to God, “Please help me with this, please fix this marriage ’cause I don’t know waht to do anymore!!!” After a few weeks of this and feeling really stressed, I finally got an answer for God. I knew it was God ’cause I wouldn’t have said it to myself.
God told me, “I never promised you that I’d fix your marriage, I just told you that I’d be there with you through it”.

Man did that piss me off!!! I spent more time yelling at God and arguing with Him, and then in a shorter space of time, He spoke again (again I knew it was Him, ’cause I wouldn’t have said it) He said, “My grace is sufficient”. That also didn’t make me happy, until it sunk in.

He keeps reminding me of that. Our marriage isn’t that much better, we have our good moments, and I’m still trying to fix things (mostly unsuccessfully) and God keeps showering me with grace. I soooo need it!

Mike

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